Work in Progress

Everything is pretty much that way.

I would love to announce that my kids' classroom area is put together and organized completely but it it's not. I'd like to say that my office is neat and tidy again but it's not. As for my brain, I'd like to say that it's razor sharp but as time flies past me, so do my brain cells.

I did learn that my brain cues into things that–in spite of my often oblivious tendencies–help me muddle through the decisions I need to make on a daily basis. It's like having Me watching over me. Thank goodness to that too because I sure as heck wouldn't know what to do without Me.

I could go on with the cliché's but it really is true, isn't it?

I had this medicine ball–bought this past winter and never opened. In one of the forums, I recently learned (or was it Me?) that parents were able to get their kids–especially their special needs kids–to focus better by sitting on a medicine ball while doing their online work. So I opened the box, inflated the ball and gave it to Anni for its maiden voyage. It did two wonderful things: Anni sat straighter which I was grateful for because she tended to contort herself when she sits in a chair. I envy that flexibility but I didn't think it was all that great for her back and her newly mended titanium reinforced spine. And she did seem to focus more comfortably if her calmer demeanor is any indication of the ball's effectiveness. I can't wait to try this on my ADD/Tourette child.

Then there was this gridwall rotating display that I picked up at a store that was going out of business this spring. My husband is convinced that I am a certifiable packrat. I'd like to think not. I bought this and others with the intent to use or organize myself. While I've utilized most, there are still a few in the garage waiting for my "vision" to come through. K12 was just that. I can't wait to see the final product when I'm done with it. Her materials occupy one side in a haphazard manner for now. The other side will be dedicated for my 14 year old's materials when they arrive in a week. I even found great (re)use for those K12 class kit boxes that arrived as a platform for their monitor.

In the meantime, my inner Me has more immediate plans.

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

9:30 am

This is real school.

I haven't a clue what I'm doing. I'd like to interject a series of colorful words in between but I'll refrain. My anxiety level is going up and I've already taken my meds. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to just be as helpful as I can be to Annika.

Except that she's a teensie weensie upset with me.

She asked for some help but later said that I make my explanations even more difficult. I'm not sure exactly how else I'm supposed to explain it to her. I rather thought I explained myself well but I may as well speak Pig Latin. So I'm stepping back, minding my own business for the time being and letting her have some space to do her work. She's a smart kid. She'll figure it out.

I would really prefer to be just a cheerleader, a comforting shoulder, the mom who comes up to her when she's stumped and says, "There, there, it will work out."

I need another batch of coffee.

11:00 am 

Anni is in better spirits. She made her favorite breakfast and has moved on to Literature. It's her favorite class and she's comfortably reading on her favorite chair. I move on to another Learning Coach session and another opportunity to hopefully gain a little more insight this time on parent networking because my efforts up to this point has crashed into a brick wall.

Making Connections: Getting Involved in the Virtual Education Community

Three minutes before the session starts and there are only four attendees so far. That just seems so par for the course for me. I feel like I'm talking to an empty room sometimes. I've invited others in my area for a meet and greet on the IDVA Facebook page and I've yet to get any responses. My discussions in the Parent Lounge have also gone unanswered so far. I can't figure it out. Do I have an odor that's projecting through the keyboard? There are few IDVA'rs i my valley so I'm branching out to the homeschooling group in the area. With any luck, maybe some of these folks will come out of the woodwork soon.

1:00 pm 

I switched out my mom/learning coach hat to mom/lunch lady hat a half hour ago and Anni is ready to break for a little lunch of pigs in a blanket. I figure that my quick meals will not be too unfamiliar to the processed foods they seem to love at school. I am excited to see that she needs no prodding to get back into her classes as soon as she's eaten.

I have to admit that giving her 15 minute breaks in between classes to check on her Facebook has kept the momentum going, eliminating the need for me to drag her back to her work. I'm just hoping this system works all year.

 2:00 pm 

My little student is down to American History and I have to leave for a meeting. I am still, technically, a working mom. I have my own business and work as a gym coach at a local health club. I feel comfortable enough to leave her to her studies and let her get as far as she can without me. But today, I did learn that the idea of allowing them "independent study" is not really feasible since they need their LC's password to access their daily assessments.

I suppose that I could give her the password but that would be like allowing the inmates to run the asylum, right?

4:00 pm

I return home. The 9th grader is back and Anni is snacking on a can of corn. She isn't quite done so I help her finish out the last class. On the way to my meeting, I had called the middle school to fax me a daily school schedule so Anni and I can discuss the differences between what she's doing now and how her friends are doing their work in school. Honestly, I wasn't sure what to expect either at the end of this first real day but I was happy to see that she still accomplished a full seven-hour school-day of studies in just under four hours. Except for that fact that she misses her friends and hates math, she does say that she likes this way better.

That's a good start.

My First Day of School

It's almost bedtime.

I finally have a moment to reflect upon the day and to mentally prepare myself for the next. It was definitely easier than I had expected. On the other hand, it was spent mostly on introductions to the classes. Still, it was a momentary reprieve that I was happy to embrace.

I put together a quick run-down of Anni's schedule for tomorrow. As I suspected, this is going to be the real deal. We have 6 classes to punch through and the orientations and tutorials are gone. Altogether, we have 10 lesson units to cover and my saving grace is that Anni's German I has yet to be loaded so I'll incorporate that on Wednesday's schedule. Forget going to Study Island tomorrow. I feel like I am about to be stranded in a study island and if I'm not careful, we'll be marooned there for the next year waiting for rescue.

Sleep. For now, I'll dream of warm tropical breeze, ocean waves and white sand under my feet.

Annika's First Day of School

After much anticipation and anxiety, The 6th grader starts school at the Idaho Virtual Academy while the 9th grader hopped on his bike towards the high school this morning. On a normal school day, Anni would be dressed too and ready to go by now but at 7:30 in the morning, she is blessedly asleep. Last night, I told her to set her alarm for 8:30am for the time being until we know what we're doing. This is a journey for all of us and I am grateful for Colter's late start into IDVA next month–making my transition a little less nerve-wracking.

To my delight, I logged in this morning to find all of her courses in place. I can now enter her attendance and review her daily or weekly plan. I was disappointed to see that it only shows this week's agenda. Still, I realized that Anni will be able to cruise through the plan and is already ahead in some ways. She completed her ScanTron test over the weekend so we can knock that out of the way. The Introduction to Online Learning seems to be straightforward.

Thank goodness for karma. Everything happens for a reason.

Countdown: Am I ready?

Every day this week, I have been checking the kids' status online.

So far, both computers have arrived but I'm leaving Colter's equipment in the box until we get closer to his start date. Anni's computer is set up and ready to go. She's even completed the ScanTron test–with little persuasion, no less!

On my part, I just watched a recording of the Learning Coach Boot Camp and a couple of tutorials on plans and schedules. I am side-by-side with my children–going back to school again. By Monday, I'll be back on the LCI train and attending more Learning Coach sessions. I'm hoping to network with other homeschoolers in the valley in the hopes of absorbing as much insight and support as I can throughout this process.

While I feel confident that Annika will transition into this new program with ease, I have some reservations about Colter so I am spending my days gauging his behavior and encouraging him to discuss his thoughts about the upcoming change.

This weekend, we watched the progress of Hurricane Irene–a morning landfall through North Carolina as it punched its way into Virginia and scraped along New York this morning. From a category 3 off the Florida Coast to a tropical storm along the Northeast, it was an interesting development that seems to parallel my own circumstance.

I'm sure that my storm made landfall. The reality has set in for me today. But I can only guess at its strength. If I were to use my inner anxieties as a barometer, then perhaps I have reached the peak. I am a little unfocused while my heart beats a little too fast for comfort. The doubts have come to the surface and it feels like I've opened the floodgates.

I went from Am I sure I know what I'm doing? to the inevitable question that has been lingering in the back of my head, Can I do this?

My only hope is that the storm fizzles. I'll take on a tropical depression over the need to evacuate my presence of mind.

Do I Feel Overwhelmed?

I've been doing the chicken dance.

Our local schools started Wednesday and that was a whole lot of work. I had to withdraw Anni from the middle school, meet with the high school Resource team and call K12 about Colter's status. I decided to get in a good mid-day workout, made dinner for the family and finished the day at the golf course with my ladies for our last league play of the season. I was Tiger Woods playing in the dark.

What? Did you think it was all about the school?

But Thursday was and I asked another fitness coach to cover my shift at they gym so I could go to IDVA's Zoo Day in Idaho Falls with Colter and Anni. I wasn't about to miss that. I wanted the chance to meet the teachers, parents and their kids. I woke up early so that I could take part in a Mentor and Learning Coach session before we left, made more calls to K12 and IDVA, conferenced with Colter's high school placement coordinator, Emily, to select his classes, and sent off a few emails before heading out the door.

I was on fire and throughout the day, I felt good about the direction we were taking. Sure, there was a moment or two when I ran smack into Colter's all-or-nothing world  but it's a common enough occurrence that I have to learn to face his intractability with a heavy dose of patience and an equal amount of medication–er, meditation.

My morning began with the 15 Minute High School Mentor. It was an interesting session and one that I will need to revisit again. Having to make accommodations for a special learner is a difficult task that I have a great deal of nervousness about. Listening to Tiffany Higgins as I made my way through my morning ritual in the kitchen made me realize that to be a mentor, I had to give up certain degree of control.

And I am a control freak.

Worse still, I am like my son.

Okay...I need to work on that.

Making Time: Scheduling for Home Learning and Life

The Learning Coach session at 11 a.m. would have been more interesting but scheduling seemed to me a premature lesson given that I had nothing concrete that I could look at on the OLS because Annika's courses and plans have still not been loaded. She starts on Monday and yet I have no teacher assigned either. Only half the materials are arriving and we had to chase down her hardware shipment at the UPS docks because we weren't home to sign for the packages only to find that the computer is not set up for wireless networking. It's a small setback to add to the series of small setbacks I already am facing as I try to get ready for next week.

So maybe overwhelmed is something of a work in progress for me–literally and figuratively.

My Kids Want to be Part of this Online School

Well...okay...maybe.

More accurately, the one I hoped would agree, won't; the one I least expected to show interest, did. So with just a few days left to put together a workspace for both of my "students" that would be organized and creative, I did what every broke and frantic mother does: I went to the thrift store.

I am still trying to reconcile myself to the reality that I have allowed the 9th grader the option to try this program. He's on the fence about it and I am trying not to lead him in his decision. And why should I, after all? An unhappy kid makes for an unhappy mom!

Still, today's Learning Coach subject gave me comfort and even a little insight. One one hand, my sixth grade girl should transition into this program with ease (I keep saying that so I hope I'm right). She should be able to slide right into a virtual classroom with some good space preparation that helps with organization and comfortable seating. With a little over 30 days to prepare for the boy's arrival, I would hope that I'll have familiarized myself with my new role by using Annika as the proverbial guinea pig in our new classroom: Welcome to the re-invented Tolman home.

In the scientific method approach, she really makes an excellent test subject–the perfect control! I could evaluate her adaptability to her surroundings, monitor her progress, record my observations, and apply my findings on Colter.

"Seriously?" I found myself asking out loud.

"Why not?" Yeah, I even answer myself.

"Because you suck at process." Yep, I got me there.

So, there I was, staring at the living room and wondering what the heck I was going to do. I'm not a genie so snapping my fingers won't yield anything. It certainly never got me anywhere in the past either. I envied some of those examples we saw during the session–pictures of lovely, dedicated spaces that surely encouraged thinking and creativity. There were other types of spaces too but the girl sitting in front of a small folding TV tray did not look comfortable and we sold our trampoline years ago.

Making Space: Places and Areas for Home Learning

I checked online for other ideas and found a dizzying array of suggestions. I skipped the ones from those cutesy blogs. I don't do frou-frou. It's not my style and my kids would revolt. 

At the end of the day, I went to bed with a simple idea. That six-foot folding table in the garage would have to be a good start.

If I build it, they will come.

OMG! 25 to 30 Hours per Week?!?

I'm on my second day of attending learning coach sessions (three, to be exact) and my two children graciously sat in on the morning session with me.

Round One:

Making Sense: You have Permission to Step Outside the Box

I am told that I have permission to do anything and construct a learning environment that is as flexible as it is mobile. I doubt that I can really do anything I want but I do like the whole notion that it could be anywhere. But wait...how much time do I have to commit? 25 to 30 hours per week, you say? Whatever happened to think smarter, not harder?

Here's a picture of my misguided delusion: I block out a certain number of hours in the morning for their schooling. I imagine being there to try and help but that they will be working through their lessons on their own. I'll let them have a break or two in between, feed them snacks and lunch, and offer incentives to encourage them to accomplish all or part of their workload goals. When the "school day" is done, I will be able to move on to my other commitments or my "me" time–at the very least, step outside of this box for a moment to take a deep breath and meditate.

 Round Two:

The Learning Coach-Teacher Relationship 

My son and I were at the high school to get his schedule squared away and to meet briefly with the special ed teacher so I missed the first 30 minutes of the session. Colter's virtual classes with IDVA start on September 26 and I would prefer that he gets right back on the bike and continue to learn while waiting for his enrollment process to be completed. As my son's "mentor"  in his education, I'm supposed to be his support and cheerleader, right?  I feel wholly inadequate for the role. We spend more time butting heads and accomplishing the most basic of tasks is a painfully slow experience.  So maybe it's a good thing that his start date is delayed by a month. It would give me an opportunity to ease into these rather big shoes and see how well I adapt to becoming a "learning coach" to Annika. I just hope to be prepared for Colter's arrival into this home-bound system by the time he starts his online coursework.

On the top of the list of teacher expectations for parents is communication. Not too far behind is honesty. That means I have to sharpen my communication skills. I am neither good in seeking out help nor do I play well as a good listener. Well, that has to change, surely? I created a new group titled K12 in my computer address book and have started to compile contact information on any K12 or IDVA individuals that I have spoken to. They're bound to come in handy one day. I may have to consider a huge sign that says COMMUNICATE–not so much for my kids but as a reminder to me. I'd like to think that I have developed a good parent-teacher relationship over the years of monitoring my son's IEP with his teachers but upon reflection, I know that I could have been better–and that, I have to be honest about.

Round Three:

The 15-Minute High School Mentor

My husband and I went out for drinks with some relatives. It was happy hour at the Garage and I had hoped to be back by the time this session started. I have these silly unrealistic expectations. Well into DH's third beer and my steadily refilled non-alcoholic iced tea, 8pm came and went. My high school student is not starting until September 26th so I'm going to give myself some slack and attend another session later. It was great to be able to step outside of the house for the evening and relax in the company of good friends sans the children. This is my calm before the storm.

I am Committed...Sorta

This morning, I attended my first Learning Coach session:

K–8 Making the Change: Shifting Paradigms from Traditional School to the Online School

Anni even sat in for part of the session. 

Colter has chosen to sleep. 

Okay, so I made out with a 50% success rate but we move on and I did learn something.

1. I have ADD too. Granted, this is not news to me but the whole notion of sitting through an hour staring at a monitor made me realize (again) how much my son and I are alike. So I did what any self-respecting ADD person did: I turned the speakers as loud as it could go, I made coffee, walked around, and wiped down the sliding glass doors.

2. The traditional rigid "walls" of a brick and mortar school is more flexible with an online program. That was exciting to me and I'm sure that Anni found that appealing too as she walked around the house listening while she went about brushing her hair.

3. On the flipside, I need to be even more involved as a parent (and learning coach slash teacher) with their education. That terrified me.

4. I could use that very large sliding door I just diligently cleaned as a white board.

5. I didn't run screaming in the other direction.

Surely, line 5 has to count for something.

We ended the session, Anni made her scrambled egg breakfast, I made my oatmeal and resumed my research on the program.

I called K12 and spoke to John about Colter's enrollment status. With any luck, Lance Hopper, my PAL, will call me by today. School starts in two days here in town. I don't have to worry about Anni because she was approved over the weekend and will start on the 29th of August.  But Colter, who has an IEP, has yet to be "approved" and a pending status for approval can also mean a possible rejection.

I am leaving that to the higher powers. But I may have to send him off to school in the meantime. 

Thank God!

My Foray Into Alternative Schooling

Next week, school starts.

Well...maybe for everyone else in the valley.

Colter and Annika are victims to my inherent tardiness and persistent procrastination when I decided to explore an alternative option for their education...last week. I wish I could say that the epiphany was mine. Instead, it was actually Jud who, after seeing a TV ad, mentioned that maybe Anni would be interested in it. One thought led to another and next thing I knew, I was on the internet enrolling both children for the Idaho Virtual Academy.

They were out of town visiting a cousin for a week in Montana so they didn't know about my grand scheme. I'm not sure that I knew what my grand scheme was either, for that matter.

The idea had merits though I have never considered home-school as an option mostly because I considered myself ill-equipped for the role of a teacher.

And to my own kids no less.

Surely, this could only lead to a certain degree of bloodshed.

I pressed forward in, more or less, state of denial. While I did attend an Ask-a-Grad webinar and and in-person information seminar in Idaho Falls, I ignored the calls from the K12 organization. I skimmed the follow up emails, and I completely disregarded the important email about the upcoming enrollment deadline for the August 24th start date.

The only redeeming aspect of my behavior was that I graciously offered this as an option to my children instead of telling them that it's my way or the highway.

Annika was, surprisingly, an easy sell. Though hesitant at first because she didn't want to miss out on her friends who will follow her into 6th grade, the information we received during the seminar swayed her. She's a great student, highly motivated and agreeable. I have no doubt that she would fit into this program seamlessly. I did ask her what it was that made her decide to choose the program.

"I liked that I'll be able to learn more stuff." she replied.

Colter is the polar opposite of his younger sibling. At 14 and entering high school, he struggled  academically from an early age. Into his 5th grade year, we belatedly realized that he had ADD and Tourettes Syndrome, a tic disorder, that we had wrongly attributed to allergies and sinus issues for a very long time. Even then, we resisted the label and made only half-hearted attempts to put him on medication.

Fast forward to the present day.

While we know a little more about his condition, we have felt like unwittingly incompatible parents to a baby that was  dropped at our doorstep. We tried all sorts of logical avenues that failed to bring any real improvement–not just to his academic achievements–but to our relationship with this very special but seemingly misunderstood child of ours. In short, we've failed to figure out what makes our son tick and at this point, I was willing to try one more thing that I have yet to (or dared to) try before: home school.

So....

I have one that's eager and the other–not so much. Today, I received the approval notification for Annika. She starts on August 29th and we are excited for her materials to arrive. Because she has no special needs, her coursework is pretty standard. Colter will start out at the local high school for the next few weeks. I hope that this will make the transition into virtual academia a little easier for him (and for me).

In the meantime, I continue to push forward and check on Colter's status which may take a little longer to process because of his IEP needs. I am navigating my way through the online school's website to familiarize myself with a dizzying amount of information. I compile a list of questions to address with our school liason.

I tell myself that I can do this, take a deep calming breath, and pray for the best.