Parenting 101: Wisdom is a Relative Term

Being a parent is much the same as being the president.

The buck stops with me.

The irony is that I don't even get the buck. If I did, I would have hired a surrogate and removed myself from the line of fire a while ago.

In theory, I ought to have the wisdom and the glory. Instead, I have the thankless job of housework. Cooking is apparently a divine calling with my name on it. As for the cause of all things bad? Strife? Hardship? Well, that would be me too.

It's no easy task and I am finding that fact magnified tenfold with a home-schooled hormonally challenged tweener.  Between the daunting task of navigating our way through this curriculum and Annika's penchance to turn the spigot on, I have reached the thin edge of reason.

A few nights ago, I was tempted to sling a glass or two against the wall just so that I could relieve the stress but why add to the drama? She was inconsolable. Her history essay came face to face with my gentle, though constructive, criticism. Add to that my careful non-judgemental efforts to correct her problem-solving math errors from the day before–and once again, I had inadvertedly opened the tap of her ultra-sensitive feelings even further.

I am at risk of creating my own private lake at the rate she's going.

All sorts of options rolled into my head, the least if which was to scream. Depending on my mood, I would have sternly admonished her about the futility of crying or coddled her out of misplaced guilt. That day, I dredged enough patience to leave on a  neutral position and told her that I was there for her when she was ready. I would like to think that frequent meditative exercises are helping because I need every ounce of calm I can muster for home-schooling and that day was no exception.

I tried to talk to her but that fell on deaf ears. I wanted to vent my own anxieties but that would have obviously been counter-productive although it was an interesting solution, don't you think? Shouting could have drowned out her crying.

So what was I to do? I was reminded this morning that it's all about the approach.

Be as wise as serpents–and as harmless as doves.

And sometimes, the wisdom is in just being able to walk away.